I felt God speaking to me very loudly today. It was like a waterfall down-pouring on to me promises and truth that cannot be broken. His voice led me to Max Lucado's study, "Experiencing the Heart of Jesus: Knowing His Heart. Feeling His Love". I have a hard time buying books in this city now--and I went to Books A Million where this book literally jumped out at me. I can't explain it, but it was meant to be. I guess deep down God knew that I was still struggling to trust. I was still struggling to know that God was enough. Week one, Day one lesson was titled, The God you can trust: trials bring doubts. As if this book wasn't meant for me to find, the book held God's words that needed to be heard by me.
Over the past few weeks I have struggled with some darker things, such as temptation. It's a struggle to live as a Godly woman in an unGodly world, but I have really been challenged to push past and pull myself out of temptation by these worldly things. Last night I had the most profound and deep, comfortable sleep. I woke up-still smelling like campfire-freezing. At the fire pit I was very cold last night, but had a very warm blanket. I would just scoot closer to the fire and wrap more closely with the blanket. As my dream last night unfolded, still being tempted with thoughts of temptation, I remembered wrapping the blanket closer. In my dream, I wrapped Godly thoughts closer, and I instantly got warmer. Again, I can't describe how and why this happened, just like I can't describe the water fall of promises today.
Today I saw The Lorax by Dr. Seuss. I was deeply touched by the message it portrayed in the book, but the movie challenged me beyond the simple message of being a good steward. Here are a few of the quotes,
Lorax: "Which way does a tree fall?"
Oncel-ler: "Down?"
Lorax: "A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean."
The Oncel-ler: "Its not about what it is, It's about what it can become."
Challenged by Max Lucado and Dr. Seuss, great men ahead of their times, I realized some things. I realized that my heart has many walls around it. The only way to love, again, is to break those walls down. The only way to break those walls down is to fully trust. The only way to fully trust, is to know and believe that God is enough. And the only way to know that God is enough is to immerse myself in Him. I need to know His heart; feel His love. I don't want to be the person that falls to temptation, so I can't lean that way. I don't want to be untrustworthy of God's strength; I want to know that He is enough (Ephesians 1:18-20, ...I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his might strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at the right hand in the heavenly realms)
I think Isaiah 41:10 says it best,
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
My prayer today and always....
.......We all harbour secret fears. They hide in the dark corners of our hearts--until our life circumstances bring them charging out from the corners to terrify us. Only God can banish my fears from my heart altogether. The more I know the God who upholds me, the more I see that his power is greater than anything I face. His strength has no limit; his love for me has no end. May I come to know, deep in my heart, that even if the worst befalls me, I will be Ok with God on my side. He is enough.
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