In the spirit of Easter and the waiting out 40 days of temptation in the Wilderness, I have been called to participate with fellow believers and friends across the memories of my lifespan in a journey. The Wilderness Way Community found me in a strange and awkward place, a new place where Jesus took me. He has taken me to a place of uncomfortable obedience. I have been tempted to turn my cheek and walk away, but He has calmly says, " Get out of the boat and follow me." (Luke 5) So unashamedly, I got out of the boat and now I follow. (Luke 5: 10-11).
With the rushing around of making plans and finding a routine after being shaken by my Southeast Asian experience, I failed to remember that today begins the Lenten season. When invited by the
Wilderness Way Community to take time each day to find Jesus outside, to absorb his manna offerings, I decided that I, too, should find time to be silent. I would meditate in his wilderness and find ways to humbly receive his daily manna. A moment of devotion from
Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, caught my attention after a silent encounter with Jesus today.
"I am training you in steadiness. Too many things interrupt your awareness of Me. I know that you live in a world of sight and sound, but you must not be a slave to those stimuli. Awareness of Me can continue in all circumstances, no matter what happens. This is the steadiness I desire for you. Don't let unexpected events throw you off course. Rather, respond calmly and confidently, remembering that I am with you. As soon as something grabs your attention, talk with Me about it. Thus I share your joys and your problems; I help you cope with whatever is before you. This is how I Live in you and work through you. This is the way of Peace."
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| Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. -John 6:27 |
After my volunteer hours at the Harrisonburg Pregnancy Center (Volunteer RN), I needed to run some errands that have been placed on the back burner for several weeks. I decided that from one errand, I would take time to be outside with Jesus as I walked to the Food Co-op for some groceries. It was cold and there were snow flakes falling. A man walked passed me and asked if I spoke Spanish. I was in a hurry, so I said no. For the rest of the walk, in my mind I thought,
couldn't you have taken more time to listen to him? How are you ever going to hear if you aren't silent and listen? Interrupted by a crashing cart in front of me, I hurried inside to the store to get out of the cold. I grabbed some pimento cheese, some oats, and yogurt before making my way to the front of the store. On the way to the front, there was a display of bread.
Everyone needs bread, I thought. So I stopped. A little shocked at the prices, I hesitated as to whether I should get some here or go to another shop and buy some bread. The homemade breads were $6 and 7, but the other so-called 'organic' breads were $4. Financially, things are looking up for me, but I still find myself thinking about living smarter and wiser, and just whether or not $4 is being put to good use when buying only one-loaf of bread.
You work so long at the hospital, you rarely use bread before it goes bad, is it really necessary? I debated for a while, and decided that bread with my peanut butter would be really good and I would strive to be more wise with my resources.
Spoil yourself, Heather. Lavish yourself in bread today. Strange connection, in hindsight, as my story continues. I made my purchase and then headed out the door, back to my car. As expected, I met the man on my silent journey back to my car. He was on the phone, so I quickly placed my groceries in the car and decided to hurry up and get in the car. I turned around and he was right there. Normally startled by these encounters, I calmly and confidently asked him how I could help him.
Secretly, how could I call 911 in this situation, if I needed to do that? He told me he needed money and that he needed food. He just wanted a doughnut or coffee. He spoke of his parents dying in a motor vehicle accident in Puerto Rico and him not being able to afford anything for himself. He had issues with 'sugar in his blood' and he just really needed food to help with that, because he wasn't feeling well.
He's Diabetic? Crap, is he going to pass out right here and now? The snowflakes were coming down harder now, and his voice trailed off into the background for a moment as I remembered
... (I have always had opportunities, at stoplights where there are homeless persons sitting asking for food, to give them left overs in my hand, or some of my groceries in the back. I have never taken courage to make that happen, and always have a horrible guilt afterwards.
Couldn't you help? Couldn't you get out of the boat and help? Couldn't you?) I realized he was staring at me and waiting for a response to his questioning to help him. I reached in to my grocery bag and gave him my outrageously priced, though lavishing, bread, because bread would sustain a diabetic more so than my yogurt and pimento cheese. He asked for money, but I said,
"All I have to offer is bread. I can share my bread." And by sharing my physical bread, I shared love. Only a love that comes from eternal manna. I got in my car and watched as he returned to his perch. As I drove out of the parking lot, I looked back, but I didn't see this man anywhere. Thanks, Jesus, for finding me today. How will you experience his daily manna?
I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. -John 6:35
